This is a snapshot from my childhood. I am never sure of my age so I placed it at seven in the story but it's somewhere between five and nine.
I grew up in an idyllic place between the Sussex Downs and the Sea and for me it was hell and torment. The journey has taken me from severe sexual abuse to drug addiction, starting at thirteen and finishing at twenty four.
In London, I discovered computers and spent a few years designing Arcade games for which I wrote a series of books. Then I met a Melbourne lass and we came to Melbourne to live; my beautiful daughter was born shortly after and I started a computer software company which was very successful until I relapsed in 1994.
After another eleven years I asked for help. By then I was broken in spirit, mind and body but this time as I got well I looked at the underlying issues. I came out of denial and sought a therapist to help me unravel the abuse. I had no idea that would be such a journey.
Now I am whole, I know who I am and understand what happened to me. I have a beautiful Grandson who is 4 ¾ years old, and is being raised with care attention and love by his parents.
The trauma I experienced has not gone, but how I am with it has changed. The boy who was sexually abused is part of me again, vibrant and alive, no longer cowering in fear and together we are making a beautiful life.
We love writing, take photographs, designing software, singing and dancing like nobody is watching.
I love the creative process. Whenever I sit down to write there is that voice that tells me I have so many other things to do and then, "What's the point you're not good enough." Those messages from my family and my childhood environment have been carried in my body and repeated in my life until I turned around to face them and got the help I needed. So when I hear that voice now my inner child and I say thanks, then sit down and write. I am so amazed and enthralled at how much I love writing. Just as I am now. My editor asked me to write a blurb and instead I have written a story.
Thanks for reading. See you Soon.